Monday, May 9, 2016

Mother's Day | PGAL

    


    My first Mother's Day. 
    A lie. This isn't my first, it's my fourth. It's just the first one when I was included in "Happy Mother's Day!". It's my first Mother's Day that I didn't celebrate alone. The first when I didn't wonder if I should stand or accept flowers, because, doesn't that make it awkward? The first when I didn't get asked, "Do you consider yourself a mother? Should I get you something?"
    There are those that acknowledged me as a mother before, it's not as if no one cared or no one realized or understood. But in society you're not one of the "Mother's Day Moms" until you have a big belly or a living child. There are so many more moms than we realize, because so many of those mom's never got to meet their baby. For PGAL (Pregnant After A Loss) moms, Mother's Day will always be bittersweet. There will be chubby hands with flowers and a big breakfast and wet kisses. There will also be sets of hands missing, flowers that didn't get picked, and empty spots at the table.  You struggle with aching for your missing baby, or babies, while knowing that if they had lived the one you have probably wouldn't be here. It's a mix of emotions and some days it's easier to forget than others.
    This was the first Mother's Day that was bittersweet instead of sad. There was joy mingled in my grief, and though my heart aches for my little ones that were lost, I wouldn't trade my life for anything. Money, naivety, health, or control. Because I treasure who I've become and how I've changed and where I am in God. I treasure those moments we had with our babies. The moments, however fleeting, that we were a family. If I could speak to them now I would tell them, "I'm glad I knew about you." 
    To my sisters, the mothers that don't get recognized on Mother's Day, know that you are mommies. As much as anyone else. Fighters and warriors and the bravest women I know, your struggle is not forgotten, and neither are you.






18 comments:

  1. Hey, Macy! I'm a writer (and fellow infertility mama!) working on a piece for Babble about your IVF Instagram picture (which I LOVE, by the way!) They are asking for a quick turnaround, but I would love to talk to you if possible before sending it over. I can't find your contact information, but please e-mail me if you get a chance: leah.campbell@hotmail.com. Hope to connect soon!

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  2. Hello. I came across your blog from yahoo and wanted to say that it struck a chord with me. My wife and I both deal with infertility issues and we finally had our first child through IVF treatments. When we were going through it, it felt like we were the only ones who had to deal with that, but to see your stories, and see your struggles, its reassuring that we weren't alone and still aren't alone as we battle for a second child. thank you for your courage to tell your story.

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    Replies
    1. James, infertility can feel so lonely! Even from your spouse. I'm so happy that you were able to get pregnant and have your baby. Good luck as you embark on your journey for a sibling, I hope and pray that it's as short as possible! :)

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  3. Hi Macy!

    We'd like to do a story about your pregnancy announcement for Inside Edition. Can you email me at Rebecca.zamer@cbs.com?

    Thanks!

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  4. Hello. I saw your announcement as I was looking at MSN, and it struck a chord with me as well. My husband and I struggled for 2 years trying to get pregnant. He was fine, but I have PCOS. We tried everything from clomid, Insemination, and 2 rounds of IVF ( 2nd round they told me I was pregnant, by the time I got there two days later for the blood draw, I was no longer pregnant). Our last ditch effort was a frozen embryo transfer, if it didn't work, then we would have to reconsider our quest. It worked, and very well - we ended up having b/g twins. 2 years later we got our "miracle" baby without any help from anyone. A very long, sad, frustrating, heart wrenching, happy, wouldn't change it for anything journey. I appreciate you writing about "normal" people like us who have to travel this journey without expensive doctors, unlimited funds, etc. The twins are now 13, and our younger boy is 11. Thank you for telling your story, and congratulations on your little one.

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    1. A belated congratulations on your sweet babies! I'm so glad that it worked out for you! :) It was hard opening up about my journey but I've seen now that it was the right thing to do. Infertility can feel so isolating :(

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  5. I cried while reading through your instagram/blog. Your story is truly inspirational. I've never realized how conceiving a baby is taken for granted, even speaking from personal experience. I have not had a struggle with IVF or fertility luckily, but I feel deeply for the struggle you have had! I am so happy that you are going to deliver a beautiful baby after everything you have been through!! <3

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    1. Mikayla,
      Your words mean so much! You have no idea how much it means to me, and other men and women with infertility, to hear someone who didn't struggle with having children express so much empathy. I'm so glad that you didn't have to know the struggle, and so thankful that you are so kind and compassionate!

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  6. Macy, have you ever been tested for the MTHFR Genetic Polymorphism? We (MTHFRs) are famous for infertility and miscarriages. Dr. Ben Lynch is an expert on the subject. Check out MTHFR.net, and all the groups on FB and the WWW. Best wishes as you go! What an exciting journey! Blessings to you and your family!

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    Replies
    1. Hi! I have an autoimmune disorder and have been tested for just about anything and everything under the sun. ;) Our infertility and losses are due to Male Factor Infertility and Endometriosis.

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  7. I enjoy reading your posts and I have nominated you for the Liebster Award on my blog.

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    1. Thank you so much! You are so kind. :)

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  8. Nice to see this post for Mother's Day and you have mention some nice pictures which is really attractive in this post...nice post

    Covid

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  9. Awesome. Congratulation. Great news. That's is nice picture too.

    IVF centre in India

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  10. Hey,
    Really enjoyed reading your post. Thanks for sharing such an amazing and informative post. :)

    Apu

    Medical Case Management

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  11. Don’t think of anything else just contact priest eka and purchase some of his herbal medication and your depression will go away. This was my state of mind when my doctor told me that i will not be able to concieve due to the Fibroid that was rolling in my family life and when i decide to reach out to the priest, and the priest told me what to do in other to get the medication. Eventually I receive all the Herbal medications that cure my Fibroid and give me the chance to become a proud mother: Eka is a great spiritualist, He did it for me, you can contact Eka on (dreka14demons@gmail.com). If you are suffering from the following gynecology disease::
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    2.High Blood Pressure (herbs to reduce your BP within 7days)
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    5. Cyst from the ovaries
    6. Unpleasant smell from the virginal, virginal itching
    7. Irregular menstruation
    8. Weakness of the penis (not able to have sex with your partner or inability to satisfy your partner sexually)
    9. Watering sperm (low sperm count) not able to get woman pregnant.
    10. Infertility for easy Conception.......
    11. Skin diseases, Toilet infection and bad body odor…….Etc..
    Simply contact the spiritualist DrEka on (dreka14demons@gmail.com) to get his Herbal Medication to cure your disease and put yourself on a motherhood side of life..

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  12. I GIVE ALL THANKS TO DR WILLIAMS WITH HIS HERBAL PORTION I WAS COMPLETELY CURED FROM FIBROID
    I can’t believe this. A great testimony that i must share to all fibroid patient in the world. i never believed that their could be any complete cure for fibroid with out going for surgery ,i saw people’s testimony on blog sites and Facebook page of how Dr Williams prepare herbal cure for different king of disease,and with the help of his herb they where able to shrink there fibroid naturally. i had to try it too and you can,t believe that in just few weeks i started using it all my pains stop gradually . Right now i want to tell you all that i just give birth to a baby boy last month,and on thin now i have not had any pain, and i have just went for text last week and the doctor confirmed that there is no trace of any fibroid in my system . Glory be to God for leading me to this great Dr Williams I am so happy as i am sharing this testimony. My advice to you all who thinks that their is no herbal cure for fibroid that is Not true ,just contact him and get cure from his email drwilliams098765@gmail.com and you will be free and free forever, Try it and you will not regret it because it truly works. i hope to see your testimony soon.

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